The Dreaded Gyno

Today I had to go to the gyno to have a colposcopy done and a biopsy of my cervix. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. But was defiantly uncomfortable! I found out that half of my cervix is really thick and doesn't look good :( Good news is she didn't seem to think it was cancerous though. Bad news, if it turns out to be anything more than mild dysplasia I may have to have half of my cervix removed to keep it from progressing. Which would mean no more babies. 

Although my husband and I are pretty set that we only want our one child. I don't want to not have the option to change my mind. 

I'm trying to not get too worried about it. Because after I had my son I had an abnormal pap come back. Had the colposcopy and they biopsied some spots and it came back as just mild and went away on its own. So I'm praying that's what will happen this time. 

But in the brain of a hypochondriac and someone who stresses about everything. It's almost impossible to keep all those negative thoughts out of my head. 

Well, until next time... 

Anxiety.

First off I'm just going to say living with anxiety f'n sucks! It is starting to take over my life. I have this HUGE fear of sickness and germs.. It's gotten so bad lately. I sit around all day just thinking about the fact that at any moment one of us could get sick. And it will be all I think about all day long. It's horrible. I hate this.

I know that I need to go to the doctor and get on something to help. I just hate having to depend on a medicine to make me feel normal. 

Anyways, that's all for today. I just needed to vent for a minute!! 

Welcome to my life.

I suck at this blogging stuff but I'm guna give it a go again!! I'll start off with letting you all know about me and my family. 

My name is Jennifer. I am 26 years old, 27 in 6 days.. Yikes! I'm gettin old. I have lived in Missouri most of my life. My parents are divorced after being married 23 years. My dad is remarried and my mom is in a relationship. I have 2 sisters Amber and Sara. Also I have a stepbrother Jacob. I have 2 nephews Braidyn and Westyn. Also I have another niece/nephew on the way due in June! 

I am married to Justin. We met in September 2007. It was love at first site. I moved to Washington with him after only knowing him for a couple weeks. We lived there for 3 weeks and then came back to Missouri.

In January 2008 we had a miscarriage. Then in June 2008 we found out we were pregnant again. We had a healthy baby boy in February 2009. His name is Jaxten and he is quite the little character. There is never a dull moment with him around thats for sure! 

We found out about 6 months ago that he has speech apraxia. He has been going to speech therapy for about 7 months now. He is making great progress! He is talking more and more everyday. 

I think that's about all there is to tell you for now.. I plan to blog at least twice a week if not more. This will probably be a very random blog. There wont really be a certain thing I talk about. It will just be random things that go on in my life. I hope that you all will enjoy it! 

My first bloggity blog

I'm very excited to be writing my first blog. I decided to start this so that I have somewhere to go with my thoughts :) I'm not sure what direction I plan to go with my blog..whether it be the ups & downs of motherhood, marriage, crafting, cooking or just a little of everything. So, bear with me while I try to figure it all out! Stay tuned for more posts soon :)